A letter for you

I don't know whether they have show you, my blog or not. No matter how this will be my 1st and maybe a last English short essay that i write in my blog.

Kelvin,

While looking on your Facebook farewell’s pictures, I can feel that you are enjoying your life with those friends, boss, family evens her as well. Once I continue the photo, I read the word downs there “I was so busy for the week before I left to America….”

You will go America? When? How long?

4 years already passed by. Never think that we can go back to the beginning, I thought I can go through everything without thinking of you. Now only I realized I’M WRONG!

Every time I talk to SAM, I added in something about you and me. Every time I open the drawer, I saw the bear that represent our relationship, I think of you. Every time I look at the photo that missed in photo album, I hate myself, why throw away the entire photo between you and me. While looking at the empty space for that photo, I start thinking for you.

Your phone number that never ever saves in my mobile phone, I can recall it. The thing that you told me before, I still can recall back without any add in information. The care that you give me, I still can feel it, even that already long time ago.

Sharon said I’m so stupid, why keep on thinking of you. I admit it, I also can feel that I’m stupid enough while I think of you. But I can’t control myself to think about you.

I’m so surprise that received your wish on my birthday. Last few years, I wished to get just a simple birthday wish, but you couldn't make it. This year, while I busy with mid-term exam, replacement class and activity meeting, I get your wish. A person who are lost her hope, suddenly get what she wants, and then suddenly lose everything. That seems like a terrible experience, or gift that you give to me.

My lecturer said that, “throw away all that binds to the past all that hurts you; discard everything into garbage clean your heart prepare it for a new life and for we are passionate”. I try my best to forget, to keep it, but i can't.

The anger disappear; the hatred gone; the tear are in control; the love still there; the miss increasing; the jealously decreasing. This is my feeling. Wanna tell that, i din't hate you anymore, i accept the fact we won't go back to the time that i meet you...

Now i only hope everything will be fine and all the best for you. I will keep our story as a memory and lock it in my heart. Miss you.

Joey